Glade Plug-In

by Zach & Al.

Glade Plug-In, Beeaach!

Joined a band!

I am now the bass player for a really good band. Hard to say what they sound like. Moments of Interpol sounding stuff, other moments sound like something off "The Bends" by Radiohead. Good shit though. They haven't decided on a name yet. I came upon this opportunity looking through the classifieds in the Chicago Reader. (looking for a job, which I haven't found yet) The singer/songwriter/rhythm guitarist of the band is from Norway, and it turns out he lives across the street from me. (weird) And one of his favorite songwriters is Steve Malkmus. (also weird) Then there's the other guitarist, Yotam. He's from Israel, and he can rock a guitar like Eddie Van Halen. He could be trouble. Then the drummer, who's a spaz, kinda like good ol' Paul back in New Orleans, but a great drummer. And me! They've been practicing for three months, they've got 10 or 12 original songs, and the next step is to play gigs. That will be the shit. I can't wait. I miss that feeling. Its funny, I was just thinking a couple days ago about how fun it would be to play bass for a band. Then I quit my job, and the next day joined this band. Life is funny. Now I just need a job....

Head's up Dairy Queer.

This mustache is for you. From the crazy guy.

Comic relief

Hi everybody! (or rather, hi to the five people that read this) I woke up feeling sick today... stingy throat and some serious congestion.. all that good stuff. But regardless, it was a good day. I didn't work, which is always a good start. In the early afternoon, I went out for a stroll. Went to go get some coffee at Starfucks to find that they're looking for "baristas", thier gay way of giving an interesting name to the people they hire to serve coffee all day. I'm way sick of Ace, so I sat and filled out an application. Hell, it'd be a welcomed change.. not to mention the fact that I would actually be getting paid more than at Ace mutherfucking hardware. So I handed some girl my application. As I was walking out the door, the girl freaks out and yells, "You went to Tulane!?!?" I walked back over shot the shit with her for a minute. "My whole family's from New Orleans! Where did you live?" This went on for a couple minutes, until she felt she had to get back to work. "Well, I'll give this to my manager and tell him you're awesome!" Then I walked down to Chicago Comics, I store I duck into every now and then, entertaining a secret fantasy of making my own little comic book: a dream that has come a little closer to reality today. I paced around the store looking through shit and waiting till the dudes behind the counter were free. I was kinda scared cause they stike me at comic book elitists, like the dudes working in the record store in High Fidelity. I finally walked up and asked them what it would take to get them to carry a homemade comic in thier store. To my absolute surprise, they said that if I made one, and made sure it was put together in a sellable format, I could determine the price, and they would put it on thier shelves! Damn, that is awesome! Not that I think this would amount to much, but they said they would give me 60 percent of the sales. So I left and walked down to the good ol' Peking Chinese Kitchen, the best goddamn chinese food in the world, China included. I took out this Prairie Avenue BookStore paper I had put in my pocket earlier. The front page listed the newly released books, and I quickly noticed one of the books was by Errol Barron, my thesis professor at Tulane last year! Weird. Its a strange world. So then I thought more about the comic and I had the funny idea to incorporate music. I would burn a cd of stuff I've recorded especially for the comic, and include it in the back of the book. Then, at certain times during the comic, there would be a visual cue to play a track on the CD that corresponds to what's going on in the comic. Maybe I'm crazy, but that seems AWESOME to me. Here's a tiny example to illustrate my point:



Click here for the corresponding music!

Now, I realize this is going to take time, but I'm going to do it. And it will be good. I'll send all you fuckers one when I'm done. Here's the basic format I'm invisioning for the book itself..



Have a good day/night! Tell me what you think!!!

Lifestyles of the Poor and Jobless

silent spring afternoon

Just took a leisurely stroll through my neighborhood. Its a sunny, crisp spring day. Flowers are cautiously blooming in the thaw. I'm now drinking a gargantuan iced coffee while I sift through websites of chicago architecture firms. I fucked up and missed a show I really should've gone to last night and I'm slightly angry at myself for that. I recieved a cruel little message from God earlier today when I walked into Borders and the first cd I layed eyes on was none other that M Ward's new album, whose show I missed last night. I listened to it and it was amazing. FUCK! Oh well, lesson learned. Hopefully the immediate future will yeild few missed opportunites. Earlier, when I was walking, my phone rang. I reacted with the false hope that it was STL, my dream architecture firm. Surely I would raise the phone to my ear to hear the words, "Hi Al, this is Derek Ottens with STL. We'd like you to come in as soon as possible." I picked up to hear a message reminding me to return Sideways to Blockbuster as soon as possible, unless I wished to purchase it. My imagination is cruel.

Read Jay's Blog!!!

Do it, I can't believe he hasn't gotten many comments. Shame on all of you!!! Make this link a bookmark/favorite! Al's orders! Peace out!

Notes From the Butcher's Shop

My sister is so nice!

Yesterday, I recieved a package from my little sister Molly. She is 21 and she's in college, and she took the time to bake me two huge bags of cookies.. oatmeal in one.. and serious chocolate chip in the other... (I believe its a sign directly from God that I had randomly purchased a gallon of 2 percent milk earlier the same day.) The package also included a poem, written to console me in my current miserable job predicament. It goes a little something like this:

Oh Chicago, Chicago
I visited you over spring break
to see my kick ass brother
whos job is at stake

I thought you were cool
your buildings held great shape
the blue man group made me drool
but then you made a big mistake

have you not noticed my brother Al?
he's the coolest kid in town
he's talented, funny, smart... a great pal
but you keep turning his smile into a frown

I must say if you don't straighten your act
I will come back to town and steal him back
have you not seen his work, his charm, his wit?
you better give him the best job or I will pinch your tit!

If you don't hire him
Its your loss, not his
because he's the genius
dare I say... the whiz.

So let this be a warning
a second chance if you please
because someday he will be famous
and you will be crying, falling to your knees

Oh Chicago, Chicago
your name now turning a little dull
because you haven't noticed my awesome brother
who I love with my heart and soul!

P.S. Pagano clan will go mafia style on your ass... seriously we will!


(that's what I'm talking about)

Feeling much better now, thank you doctor.

Have the day off of work today! (always good) Its also the most beautiful day of the year so far here in Chicago, the land that won't give me a job. Fuck it though, I'm not gonna let that get me down. I just went for a walk in the 71 degree gorgeousness. Shorts were worn. (and a baseball cap 'cause I woke up with wedge-hair) Now I'm sitting in my apartment with the windows cranked open, typin' this here computer listening to some mid-career beatles (revolver) and firing up the dishwasher. Went to see Life Aquatic again last night (3rd time) with Christie at the good ol' brew n' view. Its a weird movie, I think it actually gets better the more times you see it. At first I didn't know what to think. I need to stop worrying about if entries are boring or not, I'm just gonna type. Items of business for today include emailing resumes to as many firms as possible, cleaning house a bit, and making a chicken and angelhair pasta feast. I'll get a job soon, right? Yeah! (please God) That will change a lot of things for the better. Seriously, what's wrong with these fucks that won't hire me?!?!? Have an awesome day!!!

Here's a new song for you.

written on the spot during a violent hangover.

this is either bullshit or genius.

Tired of Birds

wow... never thought I'd look up and see that.

Hi ladies and gentlemen. Let me first start by saying I love each and every one of you. (unless I don't know you, then that's just awkward and not necessarily true) But Hi! I am feeling great and nostalgic 2nite. I am listening to sincere, sad songs and drinking several beers. (listening, to be exact, to "Paul Simon"... his self titled album.. and dude... its good.) Anyways, finally made a direct connection to the basketball players outside my bathroom window... I was fascincated.. watching them play.. and then all of the sudden one of the dudes looks up and says, "Hey dude... Hey brotha'...." I craned my head and responded, "Yeah?.. What's up?" and he asked for a cigarette.. so I obliged.. and it was a funny kind of mini-bonding experience... Well... fuck... I thought I'd make a wee entry... but its late... So I must rest... Gotta work tomorrow.. This irregular schedule is taking its toll.

Open your windows

The weather is FINALLY getting pleasant here. The temperature has hovered around the 70 degree mark for the last few days, which has been such a refreshing change in the wake of the longest damn winter I've ever experienced. In effort to soak up every last drop of warm goodness, I have been opening my windows as I go about my business within my little apartment on the second floor. Tonight, I was first graced with the sounds of a basketball thwarting off of the asphalt and a series of winded exclaimations in spanish. There's a basketball goal outside of my bathroom window. Then, just a moment ago, I overheard a sad little exchange. Without removing my gaze from this computer screen, I could perfectly visualize the entire event. It went something like this:

"Hey listen, I'm afraid you're gonna have to move along", a delicate male voice spoke. "Come on, man, I'm fuckin' hungry here," replied another man, as the rummaging sound ceased. "I'm sorry, but we can't have homeless men going through our trash right outside the club. How do you think that looks to our customers?" "Well excuse me for being born!", yelled the poor man as he began to walk away. "And don't come back here again!", screamed the club-owner in an attempt to have the last word. The voice of the other man grew louder as he passed under my window. "Fuck you, you piece of shit!" There was a pause before the poor man turned and yelled, "Hey!... I'm a low-life homeless bum who isn't worth a damn and you're a fucking sodomizing fag... we're BOTH sinners... SEE YOU IN HELL!!!" His footsteps faded into an empty silence.

Just finished a cover of Madonna's "Get into the Groove"

and I think its a winner.

Get into THIS Groove

Cover of Boston's immortal "Hitch a Ride"

I recorded this for my little brother Holt's birthday present a few weeks back. Never try programming a drum machine for a Boston song.. Not a good idea. But it came out funny, and at times, pretty damn triumphant. So if you need some classic-rock victory in your life right now, (I know I do) click below.


Hitch a Fucking Ride